Assalamualaikum! vas happenin' dawg! hey hey gurlpreng! hehe Anyway, as a new but not so new hijabi, there will be a lot of thoughts that comes by and insecurities, i used to be a free-hair muslim, but a couple of months ago i decided to wear a hijab, i know wearing a hijab doesn't really define what you are inside, your iman defines you but it does give you a sense of reminder and peace, so i wear my hijab sincerely now, it's not as easy as i thought it would be, and every single time a negative thought or insecurity floods my mind, i remind myself why i wear hijab in the first place, that is, to honor God's instructions, and to be a better muslim.
I'm 17, and i know most of us well i used to be like "you're too young to care, let's have fun!" but then i think again, what if the 'fun' stuffs i do leads to maksiat and worse come to worst a baby out of marriage was born, i wouldn't want to make that innocent soul suffer because of my wrong doings. Besides that, it's a disgrace to my parents, siblings, family, relatives, grandparent's reputation, i really dont want to live in sin, i've been through quite a lot, i've done a couple of minor sinful stuffs (i'm still a pure virgin ok), but i truly regret about it and i have repent, Ya Allah the Mighty of Forgiveness, please forgive me.
From the holy quran,
Surah An-Nur, Verses #30 and #31
‘And Say to the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head cover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)'
So.. this is one of the reason why i wear my hijab and cover my aurat, i love how my everyday outfit reminds me of who i belong to.. that is to Allah SWT. Before i do or say anything, i think twice, should a muslim really say or do that.. Anyway, I'm happy that my friends treat me indifferently even with my hijab on, maybe they also think twice before they say anything? hm. So the other day i went to T.G.I.F to celebrate one of my bestfriend's birthday, when we went to the toilet, one of my non-muslim close friend just suddenly said something that really put a smile on my face, she actually said "Syafiqa, i like what you're wearing, even though you're wearing a hijab, you're still so stylish." Well, that made me feel so good those simple words make me feel like hey, i can be all covered yet still stylish. It's not like i dress up for anyone but i dress up for Allah SWT, to show that my religion is definitely not a burden. My chemistry teacher also was curious about how i look without my hijab and also asked me why do muslims have to wear a hijab, i answered her question until she really understands.
Sometimes, we are seduced by syaitan and are disturbed by them. They will try their best to pollute our mind and lead us to the wrong doings. I'm still a student, i go to classes, and there's cute boys in my class, but then i realize that they don't really look at me when i wear my hijab. So then i hear voices coming into my mind, more like a thought.. of i'm not attractive enough, i look ugly without showing my hair etc etc so then i told my mom and i was hesitating about this whole thing. Then my mother, as a hijabi for many many years tells me that it's actually syaitan that are filling up my thoughts about all this negative stuff. Even my dad tells me that "a real muslim man would look for a real muslim woman to be his soulmate and to be the mother of his muslim children". So i realize that, by wearing a hijab, i can find true friends who respects me, and boys who will respect me and think twice before they do anything. Same goes to me, i would think twice before anything. I thank Allah SWT for helping me out and making me strong to get through all the struggles, because you know what they say, nothing changes overnight. Well... ok i just made that up hehe hope you get my point.
I'm not stating this post to show how alim i am or whatever, just the thought of sharing my journey through a phase with anyone reading this.. :)
Have a fabulous day! May peace be upon you.
